A Nervous Disposition
The night before my wedding my mum had told me to wake up at four in the morning because we needed to leave by ten, so naturally I got up at 9am giving myself an hour to get ready. I could already feel the wedding day nerves starting to set in so I put on some Red Hot Chili Peppers to spur me into action.
I had my sherwani on and was all ready to go when my nerves made their come-back, this time, in the form of explosive, relentless diarrhea. I explained to my mum that I was very nervous and experiencing serious tummy troubles, who then promptly offered me two Imodiums (my wedding was in India so she had come prepared). I was advised to take these with some black coffee.
By this time I had already covered a mile of running back and forth from my bed to the toilet. So at the risk of being constipated for the rest of the week, I just shovelled two spoons of Indian-strength coffee granules into my mouth, along with the Imodiums and hoped for the best.
We made it out of the hotel by 10.30am and I was riding to the venue by hired horse and carriage when suddenly we stopped. This is when my stomach started bubbling up and I got an overwhelming urge to release something. I was sat in the carriage contemplating whether or not I should just risk it and push. ‘Maybe it’s just gas,’ I thought. Having read the worried expression on my face, my brother asked me if I was OK. Unable to put my predicament into words, I told him I was fine – and in the end, I was. I subtlely checked the inside of my underwear and thankfully it really did just turn out to be gas after all. Phew!!
Please write to us again as we’d love to hear how you survived the rest of the wedding. You are the worthy recipient of this week’s Entouraaj Man Cup. Enjoy!